I call shenanigans on this life advice

(1) Yes it is important to realize that time on this Earth is finite. You’re not going to live forever. You’re going to die someday. Don’t take time for granted. Accept that it’s all too easy to put things off for too long until you run out of time to do them.

(2) BUT YOU’RE ALMOST CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO DIE TODAY!! Shoot, you’ve almost certainly got the whole weekend ahead of you. Sleep in tomorrow. You deserve it, you hard-working fool.

(3) The “eat the frog” quote doesn’t sound like anything Mark Twain would have said. It doesn’t sound like his voice. It doesn’t appear on any authoritative Twain site. And most importantly, Mark Twain was a man who understood the value of loafing.

Remember that: You’re ALMOST CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO DIE TODAY! As a matter of fact, my social media and blog following is sufficiently small that I feel confident predicting that all of us will be here Monday morning. Many of us will be moving slow because of the shift from weekend to workweek sleep schedules. But otherwise we’ll all be none the worse for wear.

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11 thoughts on “I call shenanigans on this life advice

  1. Flavio Carrillo: I dunno, Mitch. You’re closing in on 20k eyeballs here. Not sure what the mortality rate is, but with a big enough readership you actually can arrive at the point where as an actuarial matter somebody is going to die on you on a given day.10k followers probably isn’t high enough to reach that point, though. You just need to get more popular for people to start dropping on you.Some back of the envelope figures: assuming a 1% annualized death rate, 100 of your readers will die each year, or about two per week. But that 1% figure is something I just pulled out of my ass, not sure what the real number is. via plus.google.com

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  2. Flavio Carrillo: +Mitch Wagner Not exponentially, I think quintupling it would just about do it.For giggles I did a little digging here, and the US annual crude mortality rate as of 2010 is 800/100,000 or .8%. My guess wasn’t that far off. So assuming your readership tracks the average population characteristics of the US, you can reach 1 death per day when you hit 45,625 followers. Anything past that is gravy. Or zombies. Or whatever.This seems doable. Get cracking. via plus.google.com

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